About 7 days from right now I should be landing in Prague. Wow, time flies when you’re having fun.
Seriously though, I go back and forth between “I thought this day would never come” and “yikes, how did this date get here so quickly”. I actually was put on the clinic waiting list last November, got my confirmed date in April, and here we are.
In many ways, this trip will be very different from my last trip to the Czech Republic. First, I’m traveling alone this tme. We left the “frozen swimmers” on ice last time we were there, so this time there is no husband required. Sure, I’ll miss traveling with him. But on the other hand, a little “me” time and just doing what I want, when I want to do it sounds rather appealing right now.
My attitude going into this trip is different too. Last trip, I was SURE that it would work the first time. In retrospect, I’m not quite sure why I was so positive it would work, but I was. Well, the fact that I’m going back is probably a good clue that it wasn’t the outcome we had hoped.
This cycle, I feel strangely at peace. I can’t figure out if it is because I’m finally resigned to the fact that really there is not much I can do to improve my chances of success, and just have to hope it works. Or if it is my head protecting me from getting to wrapped up in this process and avoiding the disappointment if this time doesn’t work.
So, I’ve turned every stone, and done everything in my power to be physically and emotionally ready for this. It is officially out of my hands.
Now all I can do is remain hopeful that the baby I believe we are meant to have will choose THIS time to come join our family. A girl can dream after all. 